I am so fucking irritated with the inlaws I could scream. I am so fucking irritated with Husband that I could scream louder. Mother's Day sucked ass. Im telling you. Nevermind the 2 hour drive there, but the fact that husband and me had a fight everyday didn't help. I thought that I was going to ENJOY him being back. Now I kinda want him to go out again. I fear that we have one of those marriages that works better when he is not home. That would sucks but it kind of makes sense. It's really kind of sad... Okay, back to Mother's Day. I see it this way: On Mommy day, the dad is supposed to take care of the kids. On Daddy day, he is supposed to spend time with the kids. Well. first thing, we got into a fight because I wanted to sleep in a little. I had been getting up with EAR all that night and I wanted to rest. I guess he forgot I was on bedrest. He made me breakfast, which was nice I guess. He took me out to lunch and to a movie the night before, but all this was ruined by the fact that my husband is a fucking dickhead. This may all be attributed to pregnancy hormones, but you know, I can't stand his family. I think what irritates me the most is that my MIL has no regard for my wishes when it comes to my daughter. Apparently, the fact that I am her mother means nothing. Is there something wrong with me not wanting my daughter being watched by someone who is supervising her while she is smoking a joint? Or that when Ear's cousin hits her, she tells Ear to hit him back? What about holding her on one hip and smoking a cigarette? Am I wrong?? What gets me is that her cousin is exposed to all this shit every day of his life and never gets sick... His mother doesn't feed him anything but cheetos and chocolate, yet my kid is the one who is having problems with diaper rashes from food allergies, and respiratory problems, the very things I am trying to protect her from. I know what you are thinking though. Tell Husband to talk to her about this... Well, my husband has still not detached herself from her tit. The woman still cuts his meat for crying out loud. He calls her mommy. Husband is 23, getting ready to father a second child, and it seems that he has gotten more immature as life has called for him to be the opposite... I am so desperate to be happy... My parents divorced when I was 12. There was no sense of stability for me until I joined the Navy... I got married more because I was pregnant and not because I loved Ear's daddy, even though in November we will have been together for 4 years. I am dependent on him financially in the sense that he handles our finances. I know that I could do it myself, because I have before. But I don't want to be alone, because my mother is alone, and my brother has an Oedipus complex. I had a supervisor tell me recently that I am more agressive and driven as well as independent when husband is gone. I can agree with that. I love husband a lot, very much so as a matter of fact. But isn't there something wrong with the fact that I am happier when I have to miss him?? I want to go to couseling because I think it would help but he won't go because he is a fucking dickhead, remember??? Let me be frank... I wear the pants in this family. I am the glue that holds us together. I do the laundry, clean, raise our daughter almost single-handedly, and make sure everyone is happy and fed. Why do I not feel appreciated????????
