Let's Be Serious for a Minute

Sometimes, I wonder what I am going to say if EAR ever asks me about God. Husband does not believe in God, for reasons I have not yet figured, and I still can't decide what to think about him. I can blame it on my mother, since that seems appropriate because I blame her for everything.

Locked Ear in the car? Blame mom, her irresponsiblity has brushed off on me.
Got pregnant again? Blame mom, she never gave the the sex talk.
I hate myself sometimes? Blame Mom. I hate her.

Now then, the religion thing. Sometimes I feel guilty because I don't practice religion, but the other 99% of the time, I feel just fine. My mother in law wanted us to baptize EAR, but I didn't want to because she deserves her own choices. Im sorry, my unbaptized child will not be stuck in Purgatory because I gave her freedom of choice. (I watched the Others a few days ago. Sorry.) I was not baptized, and I don't know, but had I been baptized, I am pretty confident that I would end up the way I am now then if I were baptized 21 years ago.

Okay, done with the tangent. Anyway, My mother was NEVER religious when I was growing up. She cursed alot, talked shit about black and mexican people, and did tons of other unchristianlike things. But, my parents divorced when I was 12. I had to go to two different middle schools, and when I was in 8th grade, I met Amber. Amber was mixed, a beautiful mulatto girl who was very christian...on the outside (I didn't realize this until years later) I went over to her house everyday after school, and also daily during the summer whilst my mother worked. Her stepmother, Deborah, and father, Frank, were devout ministers in the "Faith Hope and Love Ministries". (Right. Later on I found out Frank beat the crap out of Deborah and I wouldn't be suprised if he molested Amber.) Anyway, my mother decided to sit in on one of their services held in their living room, and I don't know if it was the virgin oil they would poor on peoples heads, or shaking the devil out of others, but my mom was HOOKED. Long story short, here I am, 8 years later, pretty much dismissive as always of the whole concept of God. I am not sure what I believe in, but I don't believe in hell.

But the question lingers.. What would I say to EAR? How do you create a positive impact on a deity when you don't support the concept as a whole? I dont want to straight up tell her He doesn't exist because I can't say that he doesn't. But I can't tell her that He does because I can't say that he does...

Please, don't preach to me if you leave a comment.

Okay, quick, comic relief.

Uhm, have you ever given a 1 year old a hot wing? No? Pretty interesting stuff, I tell you.