Why I am a Junkie

I am a secretary. Man, that took me five tries and a trip to dictionary.com to spell that.

And since I am a secretary (typed from memory) I am thus named--a Xerox Junkie.

I only got the idea for a user name from the damn copy machine in the corner of my office; I was on hold for 30 minutes trying to order toner. I am an expert now on the Document Centre 430. Yay.

So, I have a kid, she is nearly a year old. And I broke the cardinal sin. I got pregnant again before she was out of diapers. That's what happens when your husband goes underway to the ocean and you don't see him for three weeks and then you get pregnant! Or you forgot to take your pills. Whatever.

Husband and I are both in our early 20's. We live in Florida...We are a military family, both being active duty for the past 3 years....

Both have crazy families.. Sort of.

He doesn't talk to his, mine won't leave me alone. His family all live up north among the thirteen original colonies, and mine are sitting back in California sipping MaiTai's (That wasn't on dictionary.com) in their bullet ridden apartments, chasing after roaches the size of their head with pink bedroom slippers.

Okay, maybe I exagerrated. My mom doesn't drink MaiTais.

Let's play name the family. The cast of characters is as follows:

Natas - My mother. And for those of you who are smarter then smart, please note it spells Satan backwards.

Daddy- My dad. A mild alcoholic in denial.

Robin- Step-mommy who is the best in the whole wide world who makes me wish I was her child instead of Natas because I love her more. Only thing is, she would have bore me at age 14. Go dad!

Natas Jr (Heather)- This is my sister. I say this because I've been told she is female, but the flat chest and mannish looks cause me to believe otherwise.

Gay Jr. My brother. He is 12, and I think he is going to be gay sometime in the near future. Not that it matters; he just is my brother and anything other then hetero would be victory on Natas part. Stay tuned to future entries on that one.

Husband- Uh, my husband. We have been married for a year and some change.

Lil Ear- My daughter. Ear symbolizes her initials. Yes Yes, mommy is cruel.

Baby 2- As of today, I am 9 weeks pregnant with my second child. Hopefully, cross all your fingers and toes; we have a boy so my husband's penis is not shamed into thinking he is only able to produce girls.

And that my friends, is my life, my family, and my doom.